Dating someone whos in the closet

Dating someone who is “in the closet” can be extremely difficult if you yourself are “out”.Typically closeted individuals fare better in relationships with other men who are closeted because they both tend to be in the same place developmentally and both are more “on the same page” in respect to the boundaries of the relationship and the depth of the intimacy that will be built and how it will be expressed both internally as a couple and publicly.If you yourself are “out” in some capacity, your involvement with this gentleman is more likely to cause you and your boyfriend some friction in your relationship because of the discrepant needs that you each have, not to mention your own frustration at realizing that being with him actually forces you back “into the closet” to an extent because of the constraints that he puts on your ability to be expressive about this important aspect of your life.

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If he wants to keep things the way they are, you will need to decide for yourself if you will be ok with that.

Will you be able to maintain an ongoing sexual relationship with him and temper your feelings of attraction for “more than just friends” with him?

Are there possible intimacy issues that you may have that hold you back from engaging with someone who would be available or at your particular level of development? You will also have to determine if this relationship with your love interest holds you back more from accomplishing your life goals and dreams or if it provides you with the right amount of enrichment you’re looking for.

Your friend’s closeted lifestyle choice is purely his responsibility, not yours.

Dating A Bisexual Dear Dating A Bisexual: Thanks for writing!

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